Midnight Whispers
by CleverAsEver
Summary: In the dead of night, hibernating dragons don't talk. Neither do they judge when you need to vent.


You know, Toothless, I never did tell you about, well, everything, did I?

I mean, it's not like you'd ever listen, but still. You're my best friend, bud, but honestly, the fact that we can't talk - well, you can't at least - can be a bit of a pain sometimes.

And also the fact that you're, well, asleep. And I can't. Fall asleep, that is. You probably can't hear a word I'm saying. Not that I blame you - sometimes I wish I could hibernate through Berk's winters too. Hel, I could use the rest now. But yeah.

Thing is, bud, there's so much I want to tell you about. I mean, you probably know some of it already - you were there - but there's still so much I wish you knew, bud. About me, about Berk; about everything, really.

I suppose I should start at the beginning, shouldn't I?

Before… all of this, I was nobody. I was useless, the runt, the village laughingstock, the butt of all the tribe's jokes. A disappointment. A hiccup.

Hiccup the Useless. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

Even my father... well, I don't think he was ever convinced that I was really his son, his heir. I was always a mistake in his eyes. And my mother, well, I've never known her.

Sometimes I wonder what she'd have thought of me. Probably the same as everyone else.

Anyway, my dad eventually tossed me in the smithy to work as an apprentice under Gobber's care. Said he wanted me to build some muscle - or maybe he just wanted to be rid of me. Funny, huh? Him trusting his useless son - the village screw-up - with fixing the very weapons the village depends on to survive. How ironic.

It was… well, it was horrible, bud. I'm sure you're a lot less sensitive to heat and all than I am, considering you sleep on a fiery-hot slab of rock every night, but for me at least, it was burning hot in there. All the time. After all, you do have to heat up the weapons and metal and all to melt them and fix them, you know?

I don't think there was been a single night in my first year of working there that I went to bed without a fresh burn.

And the stuff I had to handle - I couldn't even hold half of it up with both arms, let alone work on it; I was just seven or eight, and a fishbone at that. Did I mention I was a complete fishbone? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I did, but even so, you knew that anyway.

So yeah. It was torture.

So I got used to it. I mean, what else can you do when the entire tribe, including your dad, ignores anything and everything that comes out of your mouth? Treats you as a hiccup?

You know, I'm scared, bud. That it'll all come back. That this - mattering, being trusted, believed - will all end up being just a phase before I become Hiccup the Useless all over again. That I don't deserve any of this. That the village will come to hate me again, like they always have.

But I'll still have you, right? Bud, you're my best friend, and you'd never let me down.

I just don't want to wake up and have this all be a nightmare.

I suppose I should also mention Astrid. You know, the girl who nearly killed us both when she first saw you? The one who… gods, I don't know, but she's something else, bud. And I've been in love with her for forever.

Yeah. I'm in love with her. I figured it out a long time ago. I have been since, well, I don't know - I honestly don't remember - or know - when I realized it. She… she's something else, bud.

I don't even know if she still remembers it. The kiss, after I woke up, I mean. It's almost like it never happened.

Gods, I wish I knew what she thinks - feels - about me.

You know, bud, when we were younger, she used to be…well, we never bothered to call ourselves friends, but then again, nobody asked, so I don't know. Anyway, she was the only one of the other kids to pay attention to me, to talk to me.

I still remember playing tag in the forest with her as kids, just the two of us. Gods, that was long ago.

But, well, she eventually grew just as distant as the rest of them. Never said anything, just forgot I existed. She became the fiercest, most daring, most incredible warrior-in-training. And I was still Hiccup the Useless, the hopeless runt who never did anything right.

Until I shot you down. Finally did something right there, I guess; although, honestly, it was a lucky shot at best. The calibration on that thing was rough at best, and the sight was skewed off to an angle - Hel, the fact that I even hit you-

Wait, I never did apologize to you for shooting you down, did I?

Gods, I-I'm sorry, Toothless. I'm so, so sorry. I mean, you probably aren't even… aware I'm talking to you right now, but I… gods, I don't know. I didn't mean to rip your tailfin off. I just wanted to shoot something down - anything - to prove to the village that I wasn't a screw-up.

I don't even know if you know it was me who shot you down. Bud, I was… going to kill you. Bring your heart back for the village to see for themselves. Prove myself as a worthy Viking for once in my life.

But I couldn't, bud. I realized what I'd done. I saw the look in your eyes - you were scared. And… I realized that I was too.

I couldn't bring myself to kill you when you were just like me.

Then… you know what happened next. I cut you free. Probably not one of the smartest things I've done, considering that you could've killed me without a second thought if you wanted to.

But you, well, you didn't.

That's what confused me the most. Because everyone says-said-that a dragon always goes for the kill. But you didn't.

I guess that's why I came back.

In hindsight, it was pretty stupid of me to do that, wasn't it? Again, you could've killed me without a second thought. But then again, I've never been the most reasonable person on Berk. And, I don't know how, but - I felt like I could trust you.

And, somehow, you trusted me too.

You have no idea how much I valued the time I spent with you, bud. I still do. After being ignored, treated like a hiccup, all your life, having a friend - even one whom you, up until just a few weeks ago, had thought of as your mortal enemy, it's-just… just, thank you, bud.

I'll never forget that first flight.

Although, I'll be honest, I would like to try to forget the horror of falling out of the harness mid-air. And also the numerous impromptu swimming lessons we both had while experimenting with the tailfin and harness before the flight - I've had enough swimming for a lifetime, thanks.

Anyway, so meanwhile, my father's made a sudden about-face for no reason whatsoever and proceeded to make the incredibly logical decision of putting me in dragon training. Me. In dragon training.

I thought he was joking. He wasn't. He thought that I'd be well-suited for a training course meant for the most promising, most daring warriors-in-training of Berk. Not the most useless.

Of course, I was terrible. Being the fishbone I am, and all. I mean, it was kind of nice to be close to Astrid again - even though she was yelling at me to get out of her way half the time and probably forgot I existed for the other half - but I just couldn't do it.

But as I spent more time with you, some of the stuff I learned from you - that one spot which you love getting scratched, how you hate eel with a passion, and what dragon-nip was - I, well, I started using it in training. And suddenly I was somehow able to 'take down' even the biggest, meanest dragons in the arena, although it was all pretend, really. And that kind of made me a big deal; now everyone adored me. Never did figure out if it was genuine or not though.

Well, when I said everyone, I meant everyone except, well, Astrid. I don't really blame her - I guess it was pretty unusual that I suddenly began dominating dragon training while still being the fishbone I am. And she's always been fiercely competitive. No wonder she got suspicious.

You know, bud… it's nice to know you've got my back, but you really didn't have to pull the acrobatics on her, you know? I was trying to convince the one person who I've kind of had a crush on since forever that you weren't the enemy there, and you spinning and turning all over the place wasn't exactly the most helpful thing you could've done, if you catch my drift.

But I guess I still have to thank you. For showing her everything - that dragons were innocent and could be trusted, what flying was like... I honestly wasn't expecting her to change her mind, but she did. She believed us - she believed me. Trusted me.

Trusted me.

You pretty much know what happened from then on. With the Nightmare and the Red Death and all. We were there together. Well, except for the bit when my dad chained you up and forced you to guide him to the nest.

Bud, when we were up there, up against the Red Death... Thank you. Thank you for fighting with me - for helping people who, up 'till then, had hated you. For believing that we could do it when the odds were against us. For flying with me.

Thank you for keeping me safe, bud. I know I, well, I lost my leg, but I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for what you did - if it weren't for you. I don't think you know how much everything that's happened since, well, _you_ , means to me. I don't think you know how much you mean to me. You're my best friend, bud - my best friend.

Gods, I've been going on and on for far too long now, haven't I? And you haven't heard a word of any of it, hibernating and all. I've just been ranting to the walls while you just sleep on.

Wake up soon, bud. I miss flying with you, you great useless reptile. I miss you.

I guess I should go try and get some rest now. Sleep well, bud.

And thank you.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** The idea for this just popped into my head one night and I just _had_ to write it down. It's not perfect by a long shot but I hope it kind of captures what I was going for.

Please read and review - constructive criticism always welcome!


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